The Hipster Halloween

All the unfortunate puns, barfy couple ensembles, slutty sundaes and other horrible costume ideas I can concoct.

Google Finds: Funny Human Faces

I drink way too much coffee. I should help myself out every now and then by drinking a glass of water, but I don’t. Coffee’s better and why dilute this feeling?

When I’ve had my fill of the java juice, I take advantage of the brew buzz and combine it with my creative flow. The results vary, but it does put a pep in my step.

When experiencing a creative block, I immediately hop on to The Googles and savagely type random words into the search bar without any purpose or reason. After the search is complete, I ignore the results and just skip to the images section. I take whatever photos are shown in the first row, and proceed to copy and paste them into a word document. I think of absurd captions and see what I come up with. Their mostly lame, but once in awhile…Magic happens.

Today on Hisper Halloween, I do just that. Just for you!

Today’s random Google search: Funny Human Faces.

"I heard on NPR that flax seeds are really healthy for you! This is EXCELLENT because I just shoved a bunch up my butt!!!"

This is what Christopher Nolan looked like when writing the first draft of Inception.

"My dad starts every fishing trip with "NEVER FISH DRUNK" and then wonders why I roll my eyes and don’t give a shit about fishing."

"When is it ever okay to wake up your parents in an emergency? I’ve seriously looked everywhere for my graham crackers."

"I am more of an Eskimo kisser. My dog is a full-blown French kisser, so we’ve agreed to just be friends."

"I say…I say…I say…god bless that guy who tried to masturbate Kony out of power!"

"I’ve got the runs like Jagger!!!"

"Know what my favorite part of the first date is? Being able to finish my leftovers when I get home! Look at that Tiramisu."

-Cohen

Organic Jello.
Pick-up line to keep you alone: “Mold me—I sustain my shape and flavor.”

Organic Jello.

Pick-up line to keep you alone: “Mold me—I sustain my shape and flavor.”

Coco Rose-y

Ice-T and The Titanic.

Or just have him rapping next to a bowl of salad. But it has to be un-dressed.

Karen Handel getting a breast exam [or if you want to push it, a breast augmentation. Using her as gemini twins is optional.]

A tasteless generic protest only a hipster could eventually provide and thus worth mentioning like an already outdated twitter commentary.

Chairman Kaga of Iron Chef
A rumor about him dying from fugu poisoning several years ago even though he just did a few projects in ‘11 provides the opportunity for, you guessed it… POINTLESS USE OF ZOMBIE!

Chairman Kaga of Iron Chef

A rumor about him dying from fugu poisoning several years ago even though he just did a few projects in ‘11 provides the opportunity for, you guessed it… POINTLESS USE OF ZOMBIE!

don’t kill laurie palm tree

Two identical mountains = Twin Peaks

For the lewd and scandalous, each person should dress as each of Madonna’s Jean Paul Gaultier cone breasts. Three people and you have a holy trinity.

Glad they didn’t go with “spot”

Socks the Cat

Dated references = bread and butter of hipster costumes. Not bread and puppet.

[Optional: Add a Nixon and you have “Sock it to me” as well as a political brawl]

Bow Wow Wow

Elijah Woof, which can be either a pun or meta. Assuming you don’t know what meta means and l can throw it in there for legitimacy.

[If feeling lazier, Elijah Wood as Pinocchio and you’d never have to watch the show]

An ode to Happy Endings, that is long overdue:

1. Bacon without eggs

2. A Candle in the Wind

and most importantly - 3. ZZ Top Gun

Cuba Gooding Jr., John Goodman & Drew Gooden = A Few Good Men
You’d think l looked very hard for the last one and you’d be right.

Cuba Gooding Jr., John Goodman & Drew Gooden = A Few Good Men

You’d think l looked very hard for the last one and you’d be right.